


Catch and Release

by MutantofTime



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Character Death, F/M, Forgiveness, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mentions of Rape, SBURB/SGRUB, Sadstuck, Suicide, implied self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 13:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/849853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MutantofTime/pseuds/MutantofTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is not okay, he has crossed the goddamned line."<br/>Karkat has done something unforgivable to Terezi, and Dave is left to pick up the pieces. Worse than that, Karkat refuses to take responsibility and man up to his wrongdoings. No, he goes out the easy way. He has nothing to lose, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this was a thing written for my moirail. I'm sorry but there's a lot of upcoming sadstuck. Warnings apply, they're mentioned in the description.
> 
> Disclaimer: Yeah guys, I don't own Homestuck. It belongs to the man with the luscious lips.

Where was she?

Your name is Dave Strider, and you've been waiting for over an hour in Can Town. For Terezi Pyrope. She's never late.

Well, she is sometimes.

Actually, a lot.

But never  _this_  late. You huff to yourself, and leave Can Town in search for Terezi, something you should've done a long time ago. You check all the common rooms and the kitchen before finally heading off to find her respiteblock. You go to it often enough, so it's just your feet taking you there out of habit. You don't even need to think of which ways to turn anymore.

Once you finally reach her respiteblock, you give a few taps on the door.

"Hey, 'rezi. You in there?" you call out. You don't get a response, but you swear you could hear something move from inside. You know she's in there. You try the doorknob, but it's locked.

"C'mon TZ, lemme in!" you whine, bouncing on your toes. For ironic purposes.

Again, no response, but you're fairly sure you heard a whimper. This worries you slightly. But cool kids don't worry, so you just try the handle with a little more force, fully intent on breaking it if you have to.

"Terezi."

You hear a sniffle, a sob, and she calls out, her voice broken and cracked, "Don't come in Dave, please. I don't want you to see me like this."

Okay now you have real reason to worry. Your inner cool kid is making an exception this time.

"Terezi, open this door or I will break it down! What's wrong?"

You only hear more sobbing from the inside, and you yell to her, "I'm coming in!"

With that, you shove your shoulder into the door. It takes a few times, but you've finally broken in. And oh, are you horrified by the sight in front of you.

Terezi is naked, you can tell, but she holds a sheet around most of her. There is teal and red everywhere, and you think it's blood, but you don't really know. There are bruises just  _covering_  Terezi. Your eyes widen behind your shades, and your jaw drops.

"What the  _fuck_  happened to you?!" you half ask, half demand as you rush forward, dropping to your knees in front of her.

Her glasses are gone, and she looks up at you with red, blind eyes.

"H-hey Dave..." is all she manages.

"Terezi. What's wrong? What happened? Who did this to you?" questions pour out of your mouth, and you aren't sure she's keeping up.

"I...I..." she stutters, not being able to form a coherent sentence. "It's nothing. R-really...I'm fine..."

"No you aren't. You're bleeding and crying and covered in bruises, man. You are  _not_  fine."

"Dave, please. I'm okay."

"That is the biggest and shittiest lie I have heard in my entire life. That's worse than John's " _I'm not a homosexual"_ thing. Tell me what's going on."

"It's nothing, Dave!" she snaps. "It's nothing to worry about!"

"No, no, no. It is a fucking  _huge_  thing to worry about! You look like shit, you are not fine!" you say, losing your cool fast. How could you even care about something like that when... _this_  is in front of you?

"Is this because of your stupid kismethingy? Because if it is, that is  _so_  fucked up!"

"N-no...it's not that, it's not Gamzee," Terezi mumbles at you, turning her head away. As she turns, you see a ringed bruise around her neck. It sickens you.

"Well then who the fuck was it?" you demand, ready to kick fucking ass. It could be anybody, since the meteor had just passed through a dream bubble. Next time you saw those fuckers, their shit was going to be  _wrecked_.

"It was..." Terezi trailed off, seemingly unsure of whether to tell you or not.

" _WHO?"_  you demanded once again.

"K-Karkat..."

Wait, what?  _Karkat?_

"Oh hell no. He has crossed the motherfucking line," you spit out. Terezi just stares blindly ahead.

"Wait, is he your kismesis now? Or has he gone batshit crazy too?"

"No..we aren't kismesis. It's just..." she pauses, taking a moment to think. "There's a word for it in English. What is it? Rape?"

You deadpan. No, no. This was  _not_  okay. This was so far beyond the levels of okay it was deeper into not-okay territory than the burning furnaces of hell.

"Oh my fucking god. Holy fucking SHIT I'm going to beat his ass!" you are fuming. Your face has gone completely red with anger, and your fists are clenched so tight, you're sure you've broken your own skin with your nails. You're mumbling profanities that gradually get louder.

"Holy mother fucking god dammit FUCKING SHIT! Terezi this is  _not_  okay! This is completely inexcusable, and he is going  _down_!" you yell.

Great. Terezi is starting to cry again. She's telling you to calm down, but that is not something you can do.

"I...on Alternia, it's the victim's fault for the inability to defend and protect oneself..." she tells you through hiccuping sobs. This is total bullshit, you think.

"Well, we aren't on Alternia, now are we? Oh my god I can't even...I can't even fucking THINK straight anymore! I am going to  _kill_  Karkat!"

"No, don't!" Terezi immediately jumps to his rescue, and you have no fucking idea why. "Please, don't! He's just a-angry and...confused!"

"But this isn't okay! Not while I'm around! I don't give a shit how sexually frustrated he is, this was not okay! I'd rather have him take it out on me than you, and that's saying something! I hate the shit out of him, especially now, and no, not in  _that_  way. That's FUCKED UP."

Terezi speaks softly, in complete contrast to your yelling. "He's just jealous and hurt, Dave...he doesn't know how to heal..."

"I don't care. He crossed the goddamn line into definitely not okay territory and he's going to need to pay up for his actions," you spit out. You're trembling, and you know you've never been so angry in your life. Terezi senses this, and she gently leans forward, hugging you. The words she gives you are meant to be reassuring, but they aren't.

"I should have just fought back harder..."

She wipes tears off your cheeks that you didn't notice were there.

"I tried...I tried so hard but I just wasn't strong enough. It's my fault that this happened."

You're quick to respond.

"No. It's not your fault, it's his. It's not your fault that he was selfish and took advantage of you, and it never will be. I don't care what kind of fucked up society you grew up in, it's not okay what he did, and it's not your fault."

Now you're trying to reassure her. You're hugging her tightly, gently kissing away her tears and brushing your fingers over her cuts and bruises. She buries her face in your chest, and mumbles.

"You're soft, Dave."

You run your fingers through her hair, and gently rub her horns like she taught you to when you started as moirails, before the two of you shifted into red territory. You're sure this comforts her some.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"I...I really don't know. I just want to stop hurting..."

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can do to take the pain away?" You're sure you've never been so open and comforting in your life. There's not a cool kid thing about you right now, because that's not what you need, that's not what Terezi needs. She needs you, she needs your comfort, she needs you to drop the facade for her. You'd do it anytime for her in a heartbeat.

Terezi shakes her head slowly at your question, but she does gently weave her fingers into your hair, pulling you down and kissing you slowly. You kiss her back hesitantly, so, so afraid of hurting her. When she pulls away, her words are so soft you can barely hear them.

"Just be gentle, okay?"

Just this one phrase almost breaks you apart, almost makes you cry again.

You don't cry, but your voice does crack with your response.

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Terezi. Ever."

She knows this is true. She looks you in the eyes again, as well as a blind girl can. "I love you, Dave."

"I love you too," you respond without even the slightest hesitation.

"I don't want to hurt anymore..." she whispers.

You swallow, hard. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry he did this to you, and I'm sorry I wasn't here to stop it. I should've been there, I should've protected you, I should've stood between you and him..."

Terezi shushes you. "You're protecting me now."

This makes you tense up. "Does this mean he's going to try to do this again? Oh my god...I'm never going to leave your side, Terezi," you brush your lips carefully against hers again, murmuring, "I'm never letting you go. I swear, it's never going to happen again."

"Don't ever let go.."

"I won't, I promise I won't."

"Thank you, Dave..."

Silence carries on for awhile, until you chance a question.

"Was this really normal back on Alternia?"

"Well, yeah. But more often, the victims were killed. I got lucky...of course, most of it stopped once the adults were gone."

You frowned. "Good thing you survived...so why didn't Karkat ever explain this? He talked about the terrible past of Alternia and the romances and culture and everything. Why not this?"

"This is a much more dark side. I mean even the big war wasn't as bad as the animalistic things like this that trolls did..."

"It shouldn't be normal. It's sick,"  _Karkat is sick._  You hate him, you hate what he did. Why,  _why?!_

"I know it is. But I guess it was a way of breeding a stronger race."

"Maybe, but it's still terrible. It really shouldn't be okay. I mean, it isn't. It shouldn't be considered okay for trolls..."

"There's things worse, Dave.." Terezi tells you. "Things a lot worse than rape."

"I don't even want to know..." you told Terezi. It's bad enough that this was a thing, and you'd probably be plagued by nightmares from it for awhile. Of course, it'd be worse for Terezi. You didn't want her to have nightmares. She didn't deserve those, she didn't deserve  _this_.

You hold Terezi, brushing her hair out of her face, gently rubbing her horns, just comforting her in all the ways you knew how. Slowly, she relaxed, the hiccups and tears dying down. You press a kiss to her forehead, and gently pull her body up, careful of her injuries, and lift her into her recuperacoon. She was sleeping, and you knew that the sopor slime could help ward away nightmares.

You sit down, leaning back against the coon. You told her you were never leaving her side, and you meant it. You'd go all lengths, even death, to protect her. Because you loved her, and you wouldn't stand to see this happen again. You'd stay true to your word too, because next time you saw Karkat, his shit was wrecked. He was going down.


	2. Chapter 2

"Karkat."

You strolled into what was designated on the meteor as 'the living room' and interrupted Karkat from whatever the fuck romance novel he was reading today.

"Fuck off."

"No. Put that goddamn book down," you said. Your voice didn't have the normal 'ironic humor' tone to it. It was icy cold, and it made Karkat freeze, and actually do as he was told. This didn't stop his mouth though.

"What the fuck do you want, Strider?" he looks up at you with a huff.

You get straight to the point. "Why the hell did you  _rape_  my matesprit?"

"What?"

"Don't play stupid, Vantas. Why did you take advantage of Terezi  _against her will_?"

Something flashes in Karkat's eyes, and he growls. "It isn't your business."

"It isn't my business, huh? She's my girlfriend, of course it's my fucking business!"

You promised Terezi you wouldn't get physical with Karkat, but you really wanted to sock him a good one.

"It's a troll thing," he stated, looking at you blankly.

"I don't care what kind of goddamn thing it is. It was NOT okay."

Karkat scoffs, yes, actually _scoffs_  at you. "You wouldn't understand it, Strider. It's her fault for not fighting back."

"No. NO!" you growl, stepping forward. "It was  _not_  her fault, so don't blame it on her! You took advantage of a  _blind girl_. You're stronger, and you had the upper hand! It wasn't her fault! It was yours, and you are  _so low_  to even  _think_  of handing the fault to her!" you yell at Karkat. Be gone, cool kid facade! No one needs you here! You really didn't care how 'cool' you looked at the moment, you had stopped caring since the incident two days ago.

Karkat raises a brow at you, looking unimpressed until you speak again.

"Just because you have dirty,  _filthy_  mutant blood and feel insecure about yourself doesn't mean you have to  _act_  on it and just prove yourself that way." Karkat flinches. You hit a soft spot, and you know it. Good.

He bares his teeth, taking on a defensive stance. "Fuck you, Strider!"

"No, fuck  _you_! Fuck you up the anus with a goddamned cactus in hell by Satan relentlessly until you're bruised, bleeding,  _broken_ , just like you left her!"

Karkat flinches again, though not as noticeably.

"She was your  _friend_ , Karkat! She  _trusted_  you! And you went and broke that trust! Do you know how afraid she is to see you? Do you know how much she wants to hurt, to  _kill_  herself for what you did to her because she's convinced it's  _her_  fault?!" You take a deep breath, trying to calm down but not being able to. You just continue.

"Do you know who has to deal with it? Do you know who has to comfort her? Yeah, that's right! ME! Not you, me! Even  _Gamzee_  cares more about her than you do!"

Karkat's voice is softer when he speaks. "You've seen Gamzee?"

"Yeah! And he wants nothing to do with you. He's moirail-dumped you, Karkat, because of what you did to Terezi. He thinks you're a hideous being, far from the miracle he's looking for in a best friend, because that's what you  _are_!" You can't seem to stop yourself, you can't stop delivering the terrible words to the terrible being in front of you. You've never hated someone so much in your life.

Karkat looks truly hurt by your words, and he bites his lip.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles.

"Don't say that to me! I'm not the one who needs it!"

"Well I sure as fuck can't say it to her! Or anyone! You've turned everyone against me, haven't you?"

Admittedly, you have. Not a soul on the meteor wants to be around Karkat, not even the Mayor. Well, maybe Kanaya. She wanted to talk to him, but he was in for a good scolding from her.

You've turned everyone against him for doing something that he grew up believing wasn't wrong. It was frowned upon, but you wouldn't, couldn't be punished for it. But here, you were punishing him for it. You needed to, for Terezi. For closure too, for yourself mostly.

Karkat could tell he was right. "Alright, you win! You've ruined life for me here and I'm sure whenever you see the others, you'll turn them against me too! So you've left me with no friends, no one to turn to. You happy now?"

You scowled. He brought this upon himself, he was asking for it! You voiced these thoughts. "You're the one who chose to do this to Terezi. And you still haven't told me why."

"It's because of you, Strider! I was pretty much fine with her, she was fine with me, until you butted your way into our lives! She was my matesprit first, but you turned her against me even before this! I was just taking back what was mine!"

"She's not an object you can just take, Vantas! She's a person, with feelings! She didn't want that from you, but you did it anyways. You have  _no_  respect for others!"

"And you do?!"

"At least I didn't  _rape_  her!"

Karkat shoved past you, walking away.

"Don't you walk away from me! We aren't done here, Karkat!" you yelled after him.

"I am!" he yelled back, and there was something else in his voice besides anger. You didn't know what that was.

* * *

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are 7 sweeps old, and you are dead. Carved into your arm is, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

You knew it was wrong. You knew it. You couldn't help yourself. But it was still your fault. Dave was right, you  _are_  dirty, just like your blood. Dirty, filthy, pitiful.

Maybe someone will give you a break in these dream bubbles. Maybe someday you'll get a chance to apologize to Terezi.

Too bad today isn't that day.

Too fucking bad.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually plan on adding another chapter to this, but people who were reviewing on ff.net thought there was going to be another one? So here, there is. And it has closure. Happy ending? Maybe. Enjoy.

Sometimes you wonder how the others from your timeline are doing without their designated leader.

When you first came here, the dancestors were pretty friendly towards you, and you actually got along with a majority of your alternate selves.

That is until the meteor began passing through dream bubbles again. Of  _course_  they would tell every other dead being here. Now your own selves won't even  _look_  at you. And they had the same previous beliefs as you.

You suppose that Dave is pretty convincing when he's filled with hot rage. He can make anyone believe anything, hence why you're dead. Hence why no one will talk to you.

Well, you didn't want to talk to them anyways.

You're lucky that you're so good at hiding, so good at avoiding the godforsaken meteor when it passes through the dream bubbles that you travel through yourself. You're different from the other selves, because you're marked by your own death wounds, written wildly on your arm and covered by a thin sleeve. You  _know_  that those who dwell on the meteor still talk to your alternate selves, because  _they_  aren't the ones who did it. Of course, they're only spoken to after their arm is checked.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you've been dead for about a sweep. You don't keep track of time anymore.

Your name is Karkat  _motherfucki-_

Your name is-

You don't deserve that name.

 _Karkat Vantas_  was a courageous leader, though a blubbering baby at times. He was brave and hopeful and was out to help, to do what was  _right_. He always put others before himself, and you  _know_  in another timeline, if you hadn't done  _this,_  Karkat Vantas negotiated and gave up and kept to himself. Karkat Vantas became best friends with Dave Strider. Karkat Vantas broke up with Gamzee, rather Gamzee broke up with him, but not because of what  _you_  did.

 _You_  aren't the alpha Karkat anymore. Some other Karkat is, but you know he is  _far_  better than what you could  _ever_  be.

You don't know who you are, but it's been a sweep since you raped Terezi Pyrope.

And you're never going to be forgiven for that.

* * *

"You've got  _guts_  coming around here,  _filthblood_."

You cringe, though it's covered by the way he shoves you. He checked your arm. He  _knows_  it's you.

"You've ruined the timeline, I hope you know that. We aren't even the alpha timeline anymore, thanks for that."

You don't reply.

"Well? Aren't you going to say something, asshole? There has to be  _some_ reason why you're here."

"I want to speak to Terezi."

"Oh  _hell fucking no,_ " Dave immediately snaps at you, already hissing at you in a way that was so out of character for him. But then again, he has to face you. You don't blame him.

"It's been a sweep, Dave."

"I'm aware,  _Vantass_. It's been a sweep and we've accomplished nothing because you were selfish enough to ruin the timeline and  _kill yourself_. Even after what you did to Terezi?  _You_  are the most selfish being I've ever encountered."

You bite your lip. It was  _his_  fault that you killed yourself. Besides, if you hadn't done it, you're fairly sure he would've.

"I want to apologize."

"Like hell. You're not man enough to speak to her."

Your eyebrows furrow. He had  _no fucking idea_  how much it took out of you to even approach this hideous place.

"Maybe not, but I'm  _troll_  enough!" you snap at him.

"Dave, what is all this ruckus out he-" Kanaya begins asking as she walks into view, but then she lays eyes on you. Wary eyes.

"Did you check h-"

"It's him," Dave doesn't let her finish.

Kanaya presses her lips into a fine line, folding her arms. Clearly she hasn't forgiven you. You didn't expect her to.

"Very well. What does he want?"

You hate how she asks  _Dave_ , not  _you_ , as if you aren't worthy talking to.

Well. You aren't.

"To apologize."

Kanaya's expression changes, but it's still strange, unrecognizable.

Everyone here has changed that you have seen, really. Dave is taller, he looks older. Kanaya's grown as well, and her skin glows white, rather than being gray. Her face has filled out into something beautiful. But you can't tell her that.

"Why are you stopping him?" Kanaya asks Dave, and you're surprised by that.

"Because like  _hell_  he's going anywhere near Terezi!" Dave almost shouts at Kanaya.

You can hear her growl even from where you're standing.

"David. He's come this far, so much time has passed. If he feels that he is up to apologizing for his own wrongdoings that came from a society that we all grew up in believing was not only just, but acceptable, though dark, that is quite a thing for a troll to do, and I believe you should respect him for making this decision."

Wow, you had  _not_  expected for Kanaya to be on your side like this. She sees things from your point of view.

"The fuck, you're taking  _his_  side here?!"

"No. I am not taking sides, I am only taking the belief that if he has made the decision to apologize to Terezi, he should be allowed to. It's what you wanted in the first place, Dave."

Dave hisses at her, shoulder past you,  _hard_ , and leaving.

You are grateful for Kanaya's help, but you know she is still very upset with you. She doesn't look at you as she speaks, beginning to walk away.

"Come."

You follow after her briskly, but behind her. You don't have the right to walk by her side anymore, you lost your right to be an equal to anyone after what you did.

She leads you to Terezi, and you're shocked when you see the girl.

Kanaya leaves the room, and Terezi has yet to notice you. Her back is to you. But she's different.

You can hear her laugh. This is Can Town, and you know the Mayor sees you. Yet he signals nothing.

Terezi has also grown, her hair is longer, she's laughing, she's healed, she looks okay. She's wearing silly scalemate printed boxers, and her dragon cape. Her cane though, is no where to be seen.

You swallow, taking a step forward and clearing your throat. You offer one word, "Hey."

Terezi turns around, and you're shocked. She looks at you.  _Looks_  at you, with seeing eyes. Why isn't she blind?

No wait, shit, was this the huge rumor you often overheard about, Aranea  _healing_  Terezi? You didn't think she healed her like  _this_.

"Hey Karkles!" she greets you, a wild grin on her face. You're taken aback by her friendliness for a second, before you realize that she probably thinks you're a different Karkat Vantas, you're not  _you_.

You can't deceive her. You lift your sleeve.

Her smile drops.

"Oh. It's you."

You bite your lip, nodding. "Yeah. It's me."

A few moments of silence pass before you speak again. "Dave didn't want to let me in."

"I can understand why.."

Terezi's voice is so quiet. It's hurt.

"I came to apologize."

She looks back up at you. The Mayor realizes what's going on, and he quickly excuses himself. You let him pass, taking a few more steps forward. Terezi doesn't flinch. She's waiting.

You sit down in front of her, careful to give her space.

"I'm sorry. Dave...Dave was right. You were at a disadvantage and...that shit should be left to the adults. The wrongdoers. I shouldn't have ruined our friendship, broken your trust, taken advantage of you. Thinking back, I guess I don't even remember  _why_. I mean, I know it had something to do with showing Dave who was boss here, but he was right. You aren't an object to take, you aren't a trophy to hold, you're a living person with feelings and I  _know_  hurt you and fuck I'm sorry Terezi, it was so wrong, it was so  _stupid_ , I was so stupid to think it would be a good idea and-"

"Stop."

You stop.

Terezi leans forward, taking her hand and wiping tears off of your face with such gentleness, and tears you apart.

"I don't hate you, Karkat."

You don't look at her.

"We both knew it was...looked down upon, yeah? But it was also normal. For us, anyways."

You're trying your best to hold your sobs in.

"Dave convinced us otherwise, and really, he's right too. But I don't hate you. I never hated you. I was afraid."

You nod, you understand, you choke out, "I'm sorry."

"I know."

She pets your hair, caresses your face, and finally just pulls you close. Why is  _she_  comforting  _you_? You're the one who hurt her. It doesn't stop your arms from curling around her tightly, it doesn't stop you from continuously apologizing.

"I know, I know," she's just repeating the phrase over and over.

"Dave was right..."

"Yes. But you grew up thinking there was no other way. We all did."

"That doesn't excuse what I did.."

"No, it doesn't. And it doesn't justify it either, Karkat. What it does is give reason, and reason is the first step to understanding. When you understand, you can forgive. I want to forgive you."

Her words make you cry even harder, and your arms around her tighten. She holds you just as tight. This goes on for a long while, you don't know how long. But you do eventually part.

"The end of this bubble is near.." she tells you quietly.

You nod, wiping sticky red off of your face.

You almost laugh because there's just as much red on Terezi's shoulder as there is on your face. It looks silly, but she doesn't even mind.

Terezi stands with you, offering her hand for a handshake. You take it, you shake it, and Terezi hugs you again. She then places her hands on your shoulders, pulling you back and looking you in your dead eyes.

"I'm going to forgive you Karkat. I swear I will."

You nod, croaking helplessly. "Thank you."

You don't say those words very often, but no other time has felt more right to say them than now.

"This timeline is going to be okay. We aren't doomed yet."

"But I ruined it. It isn't the alpha timeline...Dave said so."

"Dave is full of shit," Terezi cackles. "Maybe we aren't the alpha, but we aren't ruined. We're going to be okay."

"I hope so.."

"I know so."

Terezi gives you one last hug before the meteor fades away, leaving just you and the dream bubble around you.

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and just letting yourself relax.

Everything is going to be okay.


End file.
